I Admire Him

This is Nick Vujicic... 

I admire him, he is the mighty man of God even no arms no legs he is serving the Lord Jesus Christ with all his life..

Nick says: Recognizing your purpose means everything. I assure you that you too have something to contribute. You may not see now, but you would not be on this planet if that were not true.

I know for certain that God does not make mistake, but He make Miracle I am one. You are too:)

2G verdict fallout: Return my Rs 1700 crore, S Tel boss writes to PM

2G verdict fallout: Return my Rs 1700 crore, S Tel boss Sivasankaran writes to Manmohan Singh

NEW DELHI: Siva Group chairman C Sivasankaran has written to the Prime Minister asking for the return of its Rs 1,700 crore investment while offering to surrender 2G and 3G licences along with the infrastructure of S Tel, its venture with Bahrain Telecom.

"We are willing to return the 2G and 3G spectrum back to the Government and offer the entire infrastructure developed thus far in the six category 'C' circles ... I'm constrained to make a genuine representation and seek a fair and equitable solution from the government to protect our investment," the letter said.

The company is "ready to submit to an independent audit to validate our claims for returns of our investments", it added.

The letter comes in the wake of Supreme Court's judgement on February 2 that cancelled 122 telecom licences allotted by the government in 2008 under the then telecom minister A Raja. These include six licences of S Tel.

Siva Group, along with partner Bahrain Telecom has so far invested Rs 1,700 crore in six category 'C' circles.

The letter said Batelco had sought S Tel's concurrence to sell its stake without any profit or loss at the invested amount of USD 175 million, adding that the dialogue started even before the Supreme Court judgement.

S Tel said it has decided to return the said investment in an appropriate manner and within four months of the regulatory and statutory provisions.

"This, in our opinion, would at least save the already tarnished image of the country vis-a-vis foreign direct investment," it said. Bahrain Telecom was the first global firm to exit the Indian telecom market by selling its nearly 43 per cent stake for USD 175 million after the SC order.

Batelco had acquired 42.7 per cent stake in S Tel via two transactions in May and June 2009 for a total of USD 174.5 million. Since then, another foreign operator Etisalat has also announced its exit from India.

On the other hand, Indian firm Loop has also written to the Prime Minister seeking refund of its 2G licence fee, along with interest.

A copy of the letter has been sent to telecom minister Kapil Sibal as well.

Gay sex horrendous: Religious groups to SC

NEW DELHI: Vehemently opposing the decriminalization of gay sex, various social and religious organisation today contended before the Supreme Court that allowing such acts would lead to "horrendous" situation.

Appearing before a bench of justices GS Singhvi and SJ Mukhopadhaya, they contended that homosexual behaviour is a disease, which should be cured through counselling and rehabilitation.

"It would be a horrendous situation in Indian society if it is allowed. The organizations (fighting for gay rights) should try to bring such people to national mainstream by providing counselling them," said senior advocate Radha Krishana, appearing for a Catholic organization.

He said approving such acts is against the concept of family and marriage.

"India has got its own culture, tradition and custom. We cannot follow other culture. These things are being dumped in the country," he said.

Other Christian groups, including Utkal Christian Council and Apostolic Churches Alliance too opposed the Delhi high court order which had in 2009 legalized gay sex between consenting adults in private.

A Delhi-based social group Krantikari Manuvadi Morcha also opposed the high court verdict.

The high court had in 2009 decriminalised gay sex as provided in Section 377 of the Indian Penal Code (IPC) and had ruled that the sex between two consenting adults of same sex in private would not be an offence.

Section 377 (unnatural offences) of the IPC makes gay sex a criminal offence entailing punishment up to life term.

Excellent article on cancer. Pass it on..

AFTER YEARS OF TELLING PEOPLE CHEMOTHERAPY IS THE ONLY WAY TO TRY AND LIMINATE CANCER, JOHNS HOPKINS IS FINALLY STARTING TO TELL YOU THERE IS AN ALTERNATIVE WAY . 

Cancer Update from Johns Hopkins:

1. Every person has cancer cells in the body. These cancer cells do not show up in the standard tests until they have multiplied to a few billion.. When doctors tell cancer patients that there are no more cancer cells in their bodies after treatment, it just means the tests are unable to detect the cancer cells because they have not reached the detectable size.

2. Cancer cells occur between 6 to more than 10 times in a person ' s lifetime. 

3.. When the person ' s immune system is strong the cancer cells will be destroyed and prevented from multiplying and forming tumours. 

4. When a person has cancer it indicates the person has multiple nutritional deficiencies. These could be due to genetic, environmental,
food and lifestyle factors. 

5. To overcome the multiple nutritional deficiencies, changing diet and including supplements will strengthen the immune system. 

6. Chemotherapy involves poisoning the rapidly-growing cancer cells and also destroys rapidly-growing healthy cells in the bone marrow,
gastro-intestinal tract etc, and can cause organ damage, like liver, kidneys, heart, lungs etc. 

7. Radiation while destroying cancer cells also burns, scars and damages healthy cells, tissues and organs. 

8. Initial treatment with chemotherapy and radiation will often reduce tumor size. However prolonged use of chemotherapy and radiation do not result in more tumor destruction. 

9. When the body has too much toxic burden from chemotherapy and radiation the immune system is either compromised or destroyed, hence the person can succumb to various kinds of infections and complications.


10. Chemotherapy and radiation can cause cancer cells to mutate and become resistant and difficult to destroy. Surgery can also cause cancer cells to spread to other sites. 

11. An effective way to battle cancer is to starve the cancer cells by not feeding it with the foods it needs to multiply. 



WHAT CANCER CELLS FEED ON:

a... Sugar is a cancer-feeder. By cutting off sugar it cuts off one important food supply to the cancer cells. Sugar substitutes like

NutraSweet, Equal,Spoonful, etc are made with Aspartame and it is harmful. A better natural substitute would be Manuka honey or molasses but only in very sma ll amounts. Table salt has a chemical added to make it white in colour. Better alternative is Bragg ' s aminos or sea salt. 

b. Milk causes the body to produce mucus, especially in the gastro-intestinal tract. Cancer feeds on mucus. By cutting off milk and substituting with unsweetened soy milk, cancer cells are being starved. 

c. Cancer cells thrive in an acid environment. A meat-based diet is acidic and it is best to eat fish, and a little chicken rather than

beef or pork. Meat also contains livestock antibiotics, growth hormones and parasites, which are all harmful, especially to people with cancer. 

d. A diet made of 80% fresh vegetables and juice, whole grains, seeds, nuts and a little fruits help put the body into an alkaline environment.. About 20% can be from cooked food including beans. Fresh vegetable juices provide live enzymes that are easily absorbed and reach down to cellular levels within 15 minutes to no urish and enhance growth of healthy cells. To obtain live enzymes for building healthy cells try 
and drink fresh vegetable juice (most vegetables including bean sprouts) and eat some raw vegetables 2 or 3 times a day. Enzymes are destroyed at temperatures of 104 degrees F (40 degrees C). 

e. Avoid coffee, tea, and chocolate, which have high caffeine. Green tea is a better alternative and has cancer-fighting properties.Water-best to drink purified water, or filtered, to avoid known toxins and heavy metals in tap water. Distilled water is acidic, avoid it. 


12. Meat protein is difficult to digest and requires a lot of digestive enzymes. Undigested meat remaining in the intestines become putrified and leads to more toxic buildup. 

13.. Cancer cell walls have a tough protein covering. By refraining from or eating less meat it frees more enzymes to attack the protein walls of cancer cells and allows the body ' s killer cells to destroy the cancer cells. 


14. Some supplements build up the immune system (IP6, Flor-ssence, Essiac, anti-oxidants, vitamins, minerals, EFAs etc.) to enable the body ' s own killer cells to destroy cancer cells. Other supplements like vitamin E are known to cause apoptosis, or programmed cell death, the body ' s normal method of disposing of damaged, unwanted, or unneeded cells. 

15. Cancer is a disease of the mind, body, and spirit. A proactive and positive spirit will help the cancer warrior be a survivor. Anger, unforgiveness and bitterness put the body into a stressful and acidic environment. Learn to have a loving and forgiving spirit. Learn to relax and enjoy life. 

16. Cancer cells cannot thrive in an oxygenated environment. Exercising daily, and deep breathing help to get more oxygen down to the cellular level. Oxygen therapy is another means employed to destroy cancer cells.


(PLEASE FORWARD IT TO PEOPLE YOU CARE ABOUT) ----This is an article that should be sent to anyone important in your life. I just did !

Pre book your BSNL tablet

New Delhi: A couple of days back BSNL forayed into the low and mid-range tablet space with three new tablets manufactured by Pantel Technologies and priced between Rs 3,250 and Rs 13,500.
Pantel Technologies started takingpre orders for the three tablets a few days ago.
Virendra Singh, managing director of Pantel Technologies, said to TheMobile Indian, "Consumers who wish to pre book the tablets can book it online as well as over phone."
He further said, "As of now, the mode of payment is cash on delivery but by March 5 we will also accept payment through credit cards and internet banking."
On when the order will be delivered he said, "Our tablets will be available in the retail market and BSNL contact centres by March, and by March 5 we will start shipping the tablets that have been pre booked by consumers."
Booking on phone
Consumers who wish to book the tablet by phone can dial (0120) 427731-32, 4308999or 4308999, and they can also reach Pantel Technologies on a toll free number1800-103-7739.
After submitting their details they will get a booking id, and a call from the verification department. Delivery of booked tablets will commence after March 5 on a first come first served basis.
Online booking
For pre booking the tablet online consumers can log on to the PantelTechnologies website, and place a pre book order, after which they will get a booking ID and call from the verification department. Post March 5 the company will start delivering people the tablet on a first come first serve basis.
Tablets
The tablets launched by BSNL and Pantel Technologies are T-Pad IS701R, T-Pad WS704C and T-Pad WS802C.
BSNL's entry level model, Penta IS701R is priced at Rs 3,250 and comes with a bundled data plan of 5 GB for 60 days, after which consumers can recharge the same plan for Rs 750.
Penta IS701R is a WiFi only tablet with Android 2.3 operating system,a 1 GHz processor and 256 MB RAM.The tablet also has an HDMI port through which it can be connected to a TV. Its 7 inch resistive touchscreen comes with 800 x 600 pixel resolution and 16:9 aspect ratio.
The tablet has a 3000 mAh battery and 2 GB internal memory, which can be expanded through a micro SD card. The tablet also has a VGA front facing camera for video calling.
The mid-range 7 inch tablet with capacitive touchscreen is named T-Pad WS704C. It has the same specification as the Penta IS701R, but also offers 3G connectivity through a SIM slot, an inbuilt A-GPS, an accelerometer, and Bluetooth. It comes with a 2 megapixel rear camera and also has bigger 512 MB RAM for faster performance. It is priced at Rs 10,999.
Pantel Technologies has also unveiled Penta T-Pad WS802C, which has an 8 inch capacitive screen and SIM slot for 3G/ 2G connectivity. It also comes with a faster 1.2 GHz processor and 512 MB RAM. The internal memory is also bigger at 4 GB. Rest of the features like GPS, camera and Bluetooth are same as in the 704C. It is priced at Rs 13,500.

KFA crisis: Banks to take final call on bailout today

New Delhi: Crisis-hit Kingfisher Airlines will face a crucial day on Wednesday. The management willmeet their lenders' consortium led by the State Bank of India (SBI) to convince them to put additional capital in the troubled airline.
Sources told CNN-IBN that the lenders will give further capital to Kingfisher only if the promoters make an additional equity infusionof over Rs 1500 crore. The other half could be funded by the banks.
Sources say that Kingfisher AirlinesChairman Vijay Mallya is looking atoptions to raise funds to increase his equity in the airline.
Top civil aviation ministry sources have confirmed that two of Kingfisher ATR aircraft were seized by the Directorate General of Civil Aviation (DGCA) and handed over to the leasing company after the lessors complained to the airline regulator.
The airline is facing pressure from more aircraft lessors who are demanding lease payments. Kingfisher has allegedly defaulted on these.
Sources say more companies have threatened to take aircraft back. If this happens, some of Kingfisher's international flights too may get hit. Some leasing companies are also worried about their aircraft, which according to sources are not in a good condition.

Facebook everywhere

Kolkata woman tracks down rapists on Facebook

Kolkata: A 37-year-old woman who was allegedly raped at gunpoint inside a moving car in Kolkata tracked down her rapists on social networking website Facebook and took snapshots of their photographs to file a complaint against them.
The rape victim then approached the police with the photographs of the alleged culprits from Facebook. However, she claimed that the police officials intimidated her when she approached them for the filing of an FIR.
The woman was allegedly raped by people she had met in a nightclub in the West Bengal capital.
Meanwhile, all the five suspects are still at large and the medical report on rape is also awaited.

Fishermen's killing: Out-of-court settlement likely to end India-Italy row

NEW DELHI: India and Italy on Tuesday struggled to overcome differences on the case of two Italian naval guards held in Kochi for killing two Indian fishermen, amid indications that Rome might consider an out-of-court settlement to resolve the issue that has evoked public opinion in both countries.

The idea of a compensation package figured during the meeting foreign minister S M Krishna had with his Italian counterpart Guilio Terzi in New Delhi on Tuesday to "clear the air".

However, while India seemed to allay Italy's anxiety to secure the release of its naval guards, a gulf continues to separate the nations on how the duo should be dealt with. Even on Tuesday, Italy kept up its insistence that the Italian naval personnel be tried under international law, while New Delhi stuck to its position they should be tried under Indian laws.

The Indian side told the Italians that they were free to take this position with the magistrate in Kochi.

In a media statement after his talks with Krishna, Terzi, acknowledged the disagreement. "I have explained frankly the position of my government on the legal aspect of this issue...there is a difference of opinion which is not resolved" he said.

The Italian foreign minister who traveled to Kochi before heading off to Vietnam, added, "We hope to pursue the matter in a friendly spirit, understanding and cooperation." However, Terzi conveyed regret about the deaths and offered condolences to India and the fishermen's families. "Our sailors in Kochi have been the victims of the same reason that caused the death of two Indian fishermen, the threat of piracy," he said.

Krishna told journalists, "We met in the backdrop of unfortunate incident. There is strong public opinion on both sides. Minister Terzi and I agreed that we need to clear the air so that people in both countries are reassured of our will and commitment."

Conveying Italy's and its people's condolences to India and the families of fishermen killed, Terzi said the "unfortunate" incident took place due to the threat of piracy in the Indian Ocean region.

The Italian claim of a different jurisdiction is unlikely to hold, say sources. The two Italian naval guards are in police custody in a guesthouse, but they are scheduled to attend their first hearing on March 1. The fact that they have been booked under Section 302 might make things difficult. But the Kerala high court too has floated the possibility of an out-of-court settlement. Also, Italy's room for maneuver has been severely constrained because the people, boat and their arms are all in Indian custody.

Officials said the talks between Krishna and Terzi covered a wide range of subjects, including the euro crisis and terrorism where the two nations have a close relationship. The Indian side assured the Italians that they would be kept informed of the progress of the fishermen's case.

Krishna took the opportunity to thank Terzi for his support on the Sikh turban issue, which is particularly sensitive back home. "We appreciate the measures taken by the Italian government and look to Italy's continued support in resolving this issue," he said.

This bull helped owner earn Rs 12L in 8 months

This bull helped owner earn Rs 12L in 8 months

CHANDIGARH: This is no cock-and-bull story. A murrah bull, Yuvraj, is a virtual money-spinner for its owner Karambir Singh, 44, of Sunariya village in Kurukshetra. Singh claims he has earned more than Rs 12 lakh in eight months by selling the semen of Yuvraj.

Yuvraj was declared champion in the animal fair, which concluded at National Dairy and Research Institute (NDRI), Karnal, on Monday. The bull won prizes worth Rs 24,000 in the fair. In another fair held at Hisar, the bull won prize worth Rs 16,000.

But the real source of income is its semen. "I kept my bull continuously for two months at a semen production centre in Karnal after it became an adult in June 2011. It produced 5,000 semen doses. I sold each dose for up to Rs 300," said the proud farmer.

Dr V S Raina, former principal scientist of NDRI, said farmers even from southern states come to Haryana to buy the semen of murrah buffaloes. NDRI director A K Srivastava said that by using semen of a bull, 50,000 calves can be produced annually.

Experts said it's the genetic background of a bull that helps in evaluating cost of its semen. Yuvraj's mother, Saraswati, had won first prize by producing 26.4 kg milk in a day in 2009-2010

1.46 lakh smokers faced action in Delhi

New Delhi: Around 1.46 lakh smokers and vendors were fined in the past few years following 7.54 lakh raids in the city in connection with violation of laws related to tobacco.
This was disclosed by Delhi Health Minister AK Walia on Tuesday while launching a Hindi website for anti-tobacco campaign.
Addressing the gathering, Walia said Delhi was the pioneer to implement tobacco control legislation Delhi Prohibition of Smoking and Non Smokers Health Protection Act 1996 and the Cigarettes and Other Tobacco Products Act 2003.
"A number of flying squads visited public places to catch hold of smokers. Raids were conducted at 7.54 lakh places resulting in challaning of 1.40 lakh smokers and action against 6, 200 vendors for violating laws," he said.
A doctor himself, Walia said tobacco continues to be the secondmajor cause of death, disease and disability as tobacco smoke contains more than seven thousand deadly chemical substances.
"Nicotine in tobacco is the most addictive substance in the world. Consumption of tobacco in India causes around 10 lakh deaths per year and major health problems. Around 3,000 people die daily.
"Tobacco use is the major cause of lung disease, heart disease, cancer,asthma attacks, sudden infant death syndrome, cildhood respiratory diseases, chronic cough, TB and impotency," he said.
He said the newly launched website is linked to Facebook and You Tube. Walia also said that a toll free number 1800110456 has been commissioned for lodging any complaints regarding violations of anti tobacco laws.

Why Newspapers are Disappearing

This is why newspapers are disappearing, they get the info off the web and don't even proof read 

Most Liked People On Facebook....

1.Eminem 49,293,400

2.Rihanna 47,451,900

3.Lady Gaga 45,377,800

4.Michael Jackson 42,628,700

5.Shakira 42,440,000

6.Justin Bieber 37,901,300

7.Cristiano Ronaldo 36,627,300

8.Katy Perry 36,532,000

9.Lil Wayne 32,740,000

10.Bob Marley 32,706,500

Spellbound Poem

Women of Kerala are scaling new heights

Women of Kerala are scaling new heights. Meet Reena, who has been trained to pluck coconuts.

Those crossing the Pallikkara railway gate in Kasaragod cannot but notice this entrepreneur, surrounded by heaps of tender nuts, most of which she herself plucks. She sells about 200 nuts daily and earns around Rs. 1,000.

“After attending the coconut-climbing programme, I'm able to pluck nuts myself and save on the harvesting cost of Rs.3 apiece,” the mother of two, who has studied up to Class X, says.

She plans to form a women's self-help group to make coconut-based, value-added products such as tender coconut lassi.

‘Secure & independent'

“Apart from making me financially secure and independent, this helps me gain self-confidence and self-esteem,” she says. Her average work-day lasts 12 hours. Whenever she gets the opportunity, she works as a bus driver as well.

Indeed, with traditional coconut-pluckers turning a vanishing tribe in the State, getting the nut down from atop had in recent years turned out to be a headache. There have been efforts by individual inventors, aided by government agencies, to design and commercialise mechanical climbers that would enable virtually anyone to go up the trunk. And some models have indeed proved themselves up to the task.

The tougher part was to get people interested in acquiring the skill. The Coconut Development Board, working through Krishi Vigyan Kendras (KVKs) of the Kerala Agricultural University and Krishi Bhavans, recently came up with a scheme to train groups of people, including women, to use the devices to climb and pluck the nuts.

Women are better

And, belying expectations, women have proved to be quite good at it. In recent months, a large number of women, primarily in the northern parts of the State, have been trained in going up the tree using the mechanised climbing devices.

Women who complete the programme have also been trained and encouraged to take up coconut-related small businesses that they can run on their own. Several of them have started tender coconut parlours – confident and competent enough to harvest the nuts themselves and sell them from roadside units, often with some value-addition.

The KVK in Kasaragod, attached to the Central Plantation Crops Research Institute (CPCRI), has organised nine training programmes in which 180 rural youth have participated. The fifth batch of the programme gained media attention as it was an all-woman batch.

The KVK training programme in “mechanical palm climbing and plant protection,” is meant to develop a professional group of youths as “Friends of the Coconut Palm.” They would learn to harvest coconuts, manage the trees and undertake crop protection.

Many women who have mastered climbing felt the task was daunting initially but soon turned out to be unbelievably effortless.

The highlight of the training programmes is exposure to prepare value-added products from the coconut.

CPCRI Director George V. Thomas lauded the efforts of the ‘Friends of Coconut Palm' in making coconut farming women-friendly.

Reena readily provided her telephone number for anyone who may want to contact her: 097443 58365.

Gandhi's hand writing

Gandhi's hand writing: "God is Truth. The way to Truth lies through Ahimsa (non-violence). Sabarmati, 13 March 1927, M. K. Gandhi."

The world's most expensive whisky: Dalmore 62

The world's most expensive whisky: Dalmore 62

The world's most expensive whisky: a bottle of Dalmore 62 on sale at Singapore Airport with a $250,000 (£125,000) price tag.

A bottle of Dalmore 62 scotch whisky has been bought for a new world record of £125,000, but even at that price it looks like a good investment


''alcohol drinking is injurious to health''

World's Most Expensive Cars

Bugatti Veyron Super Sports $2,400,000. This is by far the most expensive street legal car available on the market today (the base Veyron costs $1,700,000). It is the fastest accelerating car reaching 0-60 in 2.5 seconds. It is also the fastest street legal car when tested again on July 10, 2010 with the 2010 Super Sport Version reaching a top speed of 267 mph. When competing against the Bugatti Veyron, you better be prepared!....

Pakistan was ranked third largely on the basis of cultural

Pakistan was ranked third largely on the basis of cultural, tribal and religious practices harmful to women.

These include acid attacks, child and forced marriage and punishment or retribution by stoning or other physical abuse.

"Pakistan has some of the highest rates of dowry murder, so-called honour killings and early marriage," said Divya Bajpai, reproductive health advisor at the International HIV/AIDS Alliance.

Some 1,000 women and girls die in honour killings annually, according to Pakistan's Human Rights Commission.

Earthquake

No one knows when the North Anatolian Fault will rupture, but one thing is certain: It will rupture. The resulting earthquake could be very bad news for the 12.8 million people in Istanbul.

For the past century, earthquakes on the North Anatolian Fault in northern Turkey have been creeping westward. The last big quake happened in 1999, when a 7.6-magnitude ((CONLINK|945|temblor devastated the city of Izmit)). The official death toll was around 17,000, but a 2004 estimate by University of Brasilia researcher Vasile Marza put the number at 45,000.

The next time the ground shakes, scientists expect that it will be even further west, just south Istanbul. A January 2010 study in the journal Nature Geosciences found that tensions along the fault are building and could trigger multiple small-to-moderate quakes. Or the fault could go all at once. In March, USGS geophysicist Tom Parsons told Nature that the chances of Istanbul being hit by a magnitude 7 or greater quake in the next 25 years are between 30 and 60 percent.

Tablet

BSNL has launched three tablets with the cheapest model costing a mere Rs 3,250, making a quiet entry into the increasingly competitive market for the hand-held computers. (Photo: T-Pad IS701R)

Right to sleep

New Delhi: The Supreme Court took strong objection to the Delhi Police's mid-night crackdown on yoga guru Ramdev's supporters saying unlawfully depriving a person from sleep is a violation of his fundamental rights."Deprivation of sleep has tumultuous adverse effects. It causes a stir and disturbs the quiet and peace of an individual's physical state. A natural process which is inherent in a human being, if disturbed, obviously affects basic life."It is for this reason that if a person is deprived of sleep, the effect thereof, is treated to be torturous. To take away the right of natural rest is also, therefore, violation of human rights. It becomes a violation of a fundamental right when it is disturbed intentionally, unlawfully and for no justification," Justice BS Chauhan said in his judgement.Justice Chauhan wrote a separate judgement concurring with the findings of Justice Swatanter Kumar who had taken suo motu cognizance of media reports of the mid-night crackdown on Ramdev and his supporters on June 4-5 last year.Justice Chauhan said the action of the police against the sleeping people could not be justified as "a sleeping crowd cannot be included within the bracket of an unlawful category unless there is sufficient material to brand it as such".He said "the part played by the police and the administration shows the outrageous behaviour which cannot be justified by law in any civilized society".Justice Chauhan said a sleeping person is "half dead" with his mental faculties are in an inactive state.

T-Shirt Quotes and Sayings.!

I’m the person your mother warned you about.
I’m not as dumb as you look.
No sense in being pessimistic It wouldn’t work anyway.
We should forgive our enemies, but only after they’ve been taken out and shot.
Never kick a man unless he’s down.
There is intelligent life on Earth, but I’m just visiting.
Work is the curse of the drinking class.
The secret of success is sincerity. Once you can fake that you’ve got it made.
How can I love you if you won’t lie down ?
I wear the brains in the family.
There’s no future in time travel.
Put on your seat belt… I wanna try something.
Beat the 5 o’clock rush – Leave work at noon.
I’m not unemployed, I’m a consultant
I’m sorry My fault I forgot you were an idiot.
I don’t have a license to kill. I have a learner’s permit.
Where there’s a will… I want to be in it.
All men are idiots And I married their king.
Alcohol and calculus don’t mix. Never drink and derive.
My Dog Can Lick Anyone.
Out of my mind… Back in five minutes.
People like you are the reason people like me need medication.
There’s too much blood in my alcohol system.
Smile, it’s the second best thing you can do with your lips.
A day without sunshine is like night.
Excuse, but do I look like someone who cares?
Do not disturb I’m disturbed enough already.
The trouble with life is there’s no background music.
I couldn’t repair your brakes, so I made your horn louder.
Who is General Failure and why is he reading my hard disk?
I’m sorry My fault I forgot you were an idiot.
Always remember you’re unique… Just like everyone else.
I don’t have a license to kill. I have a learner’s permit.
If at first you don’t succeed, destroy all evidence that you tried
Save the whales! Trade them for valuable prizes.
All men are idiots And I married their king.
In America Anyone Can Be President That’s One of the Risks You Take.
Alcohol and calculus don’t mix. Never drink and derive.
No sense in being pessimistic It wouldn’t work anyway!
Stop repeat offenders. Don’t re-elect them!
I wear the brains in the family.
BEER It’s not just for breakfast anymore.
Out of my mind… Back in five minutes.
There’s too much blood in my alcohol system.
A PICTURE IS WORTH A THOUSAND WORDS–But it uses up a thousand times the memory.
Punctuality is the virtue of the bored.
Moderation is a fatal thing. Nothing succeeds like excess.
We are all in the gutter, but some of us are looking at the stars.
It’s hard to be funny when you have to be clean.
Whatever the questions is, Liquor Is The Answer
Your Boyfriend Thinks I’m Hot.
Weapons Of Mass Distraction.
This is my drinking shirt.
I can resist everything except temptation.
Smile, it’s the second best thing you can do with your lips.
Excuse, but do I look like someone who cares?
Do not disturb I’m disturbed enough already.
I don’t know what makes you dumb But it really works.
Where there’s a will… I want to be in it.
Us blondes aren’t dumb.
Wasted All The Time.
Life’s Too Short To Date Ugly Women.
Blonde and proud of it.
Don’t Annoy The Crazy Person.
Don’t make me call out my Flying Monkeys.
I’m with Stupid.
I don’t need no Educashun.

Guns........